"HOW i WENT FROM BEING TERRIFIED OF THE FAMILY COURT TO REPRESENTING MYSELF CONFIDENTLY...AND HOW YOU CAN TOO."

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even if you've never been before and the thought petrifies you!

Coach
Coach in his corner

Sound impossible to you? Well…it isn’t at all, when you know what you’re doing!

The problem is so many people don’t…and why would you?

I was no different. It seems a long time ago now, but once I was where you are now.

I was petrified of going to the family court…and with good reason, because I got absolutely slaughtered.

You see there were fundamental things I didn’t know and didn’t understand…and so the result was…well, as I said I got slaughtered.

I wish I’d had someone in my corner at the time, like a coach, someone who knew the ropes and understood not only how to see things from a child’s point of view, but also how to help me present at family court in a credible, child centred way.

Someone who had specific knowledge, not only about what was harmful to children, but what the court would see as harmful and be likely to take seriously.

Unfortunately, as I said I didn’t… so I had to learn the hard way.

It was humiliating and very painful, but it taught me so many lessons.

Lessons that I am happy to share with you, to help you to confidently and competently represent yourself at court.

And the best bit is that these lessons are not just essential for your family court case, they are life lessons, that enhance your relationship with your child for life.

You can’t really put a price on the information that I’m willing to share with you…that’s because it’s PRICELESS!

Don’t believe me?

What price would you pay for information that helped you win your case; that ensured your child had a great childhood and improved your relationship with your child now and throughout your lives?

As I say, it’s priceless…and representing yourself at court is simple, when you know how.

So…if you’re ready to KNOW HOW, give me a call on 07960077063 or email me at familycourtcoaching@gmail.com

Need help with your court statement?

Before attempting to write your court statement it’s a good idea for you to think about the main points you wish to bring to the court’s attention.

Make sure you place the name of the court and the court case number in a prominent position at the top of your statement. Include the child’s name and date of birth, your name (and whether you are the applicant or respondent) as well as the name of your ex (and whether they are the respondent or applicant) 

Court Statements are your opportunity to tell the court a little about the history or background of your case, and this should be as succinct as possible, whilst getting across the main points and issues.

It’s important for you to remember to focus on your child and what you consider is in their best interests consistently.

Your child is a product of you and your ex partner, so do yourself a favour and bear that in mind when you talk about your ex and what you think your child needs in respect of contact time with your ex.

Once you have written your statement it is a very good idea to read it over and also to ask someone objective to read it.

You will want to know that it sounds reasonable, considered and that you come across as a parent solely interested in your child’s well being.

I have written this short guide to help parents who need to write a family court statement.

It is by no means exhaustive and if you need further help, you can contact me via email me at familycourtcoaching@gmail.com or call me on 07960-077063 and I will let you know how I can help.

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Court Statement
Arguing in court

COURT ETIQUETTE - UNDERSTANDING YOUR DO'S AND DONT'S

If you are going to represent yourself at the family court confidently and competently, you’re going to need to know about court etiquette. In other words what you can and can’t do if you want to stand a chance of achieving your desired outcome at court. Below is a list of things you need to be able to do:

Remain calm all the time.

Do what the judge tells you and be mindful of their body language.

Speak in court only when the judge asks you to.

Do not interrupt when the judge has asked your ex to speak.

Never argue, shout or heckle your ex inside the court room

Listen carefully to what the judge has to say

Take notes of important issues and future court dates.

Contact me if you want to know more or why this is the correct way to behave at court.

07960077063 or familycourtcoaching@gmail.com

 

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REMEMBER THE SPOTLIGHT IS CONSTANTLY ON YOU, AS WELL AS YOUR EX

Just so that you are clear, I am not just referring to whilst you are in the courtroom. I am referring to everything you do whilst your family court case is ongoing.

You have to understand this and ensure that your actions, behaviour and inaction, when looked at demonstrate that you put your child’s needs first.

So what does that mean?

It means many things… much more than can be conveyed right here and now, but to give you an inkling it includes even the way you talk about your ex, or the child that you and your ex produced.

Notice that I did not say your child. I said  the child that you and your ex brought into the world.

Whilst you may see your child as yours, or that you have rights regarding your child. This is not how the family court sees it.

Your child is not just yours, he or she is a product of you and your ex.

They are not your possession, they are young human beings who need both of their parents to act responsibly and dutifully towards them throughout their childhood. 

So…be acutely conscious of this and be prepared to think all the time about how what you do and say will not only impact on your child but expose your attitudes to the CAFCASS officer and the court.

One more thing…this should be how good parents act all the time, not just during family court proceedings!

And yes, I realise we are all human, but if you want to have a great relationship with your child for life, this is the standard you have to strive towards.

If you want to l know or learn more just pick up your mobile and call me on 07960-077063 or email me at familycourtcoaching@gmail.com

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Engage with this website

KEEP PERSPECTIVE YOU WON'T BE AT COURT FOREVER

It may not feel like it at the moment, but your court process will come to an end, before you know it. Although the court process is often a slow one (when you need it to be faster) time though moves quickly and you may find that before you have time to prepare for it your case has ended. When you spend so much time and emotional energy preparing for your family law matter, it may feel strange to settle back into a normal existence after so much conflict whilst the case was ongoing. Of course whatever the outcome at court the tension and conflict will not just evaporate, but you may want to think about planning a break away, or doing something that you love, as it is essential that you remain healthy and don't allow stress to undermine your health. Your child/ren will need you no matter what the result of your case is...and you will need as normal and stress free life as possible.

Kids Need Good Fathers Just as they need Good Mums

Let's face it we live in a society where it is assumed that the majority of the responsibility for the parenting of children rests with mothers. But all families are different and mothers are not necessarily better or more suitable carers than fathers Children need both and it should not become an either or competition that it often becomes when parents separate. The reality is that everyone in the family loses out when parents fail to negotiate a sensible and fair solution based on what is in the child's best interests following a separation. My advice where possible is to seek a win: win situation for the child first and the parents second. Otherwise what families are left with is lose: lose scenarios, even when it appears one party is the winner and the other a loser - in the long run everyone in the family loses out big time.

CAFCASS Officer

How To Work With CAFCASS OFFICERS

First of all you have to realise that CAFCASS officers are in a very powerful position in relation to the final outcome decided at court. It is thus wise to consider how you behave in their presence. I do not mean by this that you have to grovel towards them in any way. But I do mean that it is important to plan what and how you will speak to them and make sure you are punctual and prepared for any meeting with them. Consider and reflect on how you speak about your children and your ex at all times. Secondly, be consistent in your behaviour and your arguments, being constantly aware that your behaviour and actions are being noted not just in your meeting, but all the time during your family law case. Thirdly, although this should always be uppermost in your thoughts, make sure that your thoughts, attitudes, actions and words reflect your desire to put your children's needs first. Fourthly, ever argue with the CAFCASS officer, just state your view and give your reasons for your conclusions and proposals. Finally, like social workers, they are very used to dealing with andgry bitter parents so if you want to stand out in their thoughts and give yourself the best chance of getting a positive outcome, you need to present in a different way than most parents do. For more information on how best to do this call me on 07960-077063 or email me at familycourtcoaching@gmail.com

Courts are often impressive looking buildings

Although family courts often look impressive this is not always the case. Some look far less so than others. However, no matter how your family court looks, it is important not to feel over awed by the occasion. This is easier said than done, but it is a good idea to attend your family court before you are required to. This is so that you get a chance to try and familiarise yourself with your route to court, the length of time it will take to get their and to gain an experience and feel of being outside a court room. Obviously you will not be allowed into a court room until your court date but you can gain a feel of what it's like by just waiting outside surrounded or in the presence of anxious parents,their legal representatives and court ushers - court staff responsible for calling you into court. I know there is a bit for you to take on board, but if you have any questions feel free to contact me via email familycourtcoaching@gmail.com or by calling me on 07960077063

Co-Parenting

Co-Parenting - A Shared Responsibility

Parenting, whether you and the other parent are together or not should really be a shared responsibility. And no that does not mean that you have to agree on everything (that would be unrealistic) but it should mean that when it comes to your children that you are mature enough, caring enough and wise enough to agree on matters such as what will cause your child harm and the type of care they will need now and throughout their childhood to become healthy and independent adults in all respects. Sadly, it only takes one parent to be selfish and domineering for a child's entire childhood to be ruined and the other parent's hard work nullified. Good parenting requires that you develop the skills to negotiate with your ex and later on in life with your child.

How To Work With Social Workers

I would like you to realise that CAFCASS Officers are predominantly social workers or at least social work trained professionals. I say this for two main reasons firstly children's social workers get a lot of bad press. The vast majority of this is unfair, but this is the world we live in. So, if you detest social workers, you're going to need to think about that as it will easily impact on the way you work with them. Be wise enough to know that when you dislike someone or something, that it shows in some way, no matter how much you may try to disguise it. Social workers are used to focusing on what is in the best interests of children (from their professional perspective, not yours) and so are sensitive to issues which seem to demonstrate your lack of insight, committment or care towards your children. Treat social workers with the respect you should treat other professionals, whether you like them or not they have a job to do and that job may involve safeguarding yours and other people's children. Social workers so often work in a climate of hostility and abuse. Why not stand out in their thoughts as being someone who was willing to have a constructive conversation and open to listening and learning. Whatever you think of them, they are human and the more likeable you are the more time they are likely to spend listening to your views and wishes.

How to give evidence at court?

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cross examination

How To Be A Credible Witness At The Family Court

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