Category Archives: Low Self-Esteem

Your Next Relationship

If you’ve ever had a relationship that’s gone badly wrong, it’s not at all uncommon for you to experience a lack of trust or faith in your capacity to form suitable relationships or choose appropriate partners.
The fact that you’ve had an unsuccessful relationship doesn’t mean that you’re necessarily a bad judge of character. Or that there are no other good men or women out there for you. It may not mean anything of the sort, sometimes couples just aren’t meant to be together and it doesn’t have to be a reflection on your judgement.
Of course if it happens time and time again, you’re going to need to ask yourself what lesson life is trying to teach you.
I always say that it’s really vitally important to think about and choose as wisely as you can when you decide to begin a relationship. I say this because sometimes the partners you choose can either have a very positive impact on your life or they can quite literally ruin your life and be the cause if you allow them to.
Whilst to some of you this may seem extreme, others will know from their own experience or that of others that there are some ex=partners that you can never turn your back on even when the relationship has been over for many years.
If you have ever been involved with a partner who is controlling and abusive either physically or emotionally, you will know what I’m talking about.
You know the type, it’s all about them, they may take you to court or you may have to take them but it’s not about the child really, it’s simply about power and control and the fact that one of the easiest ways to maintain a form of control over someone they used to control is to keep the conflict and control current. In that way the other partner is never able to get on with their life and move on the way they would wish to.
In such situations you really have to make up your mind how best to deal with an ex-partner whose mind is focused on vengeance and how you are going to be able to get on with your life.
If he or she was a highly controlling or manipulative person, it may well be that you require some form of counselling or therapy before you move on to meet a new partner. This is because often the impact of their behaviour over a period of time has left you ill equipped, lacking in confidence and the emotional resources to start all over again.
It is important that you close the chapter on your old relationship and work towards emotional closure of the earlier relationship.
There is a lot to be said for taking your time if and when you meet somebody new. There never is any reason to rush in or feel overwhelmed . Take your time, if they value you and your feelings they will respect you enough to give you the time you need to make sure you feel okay about everything or the speed with which things are moving.
You need to feel that you have an important say in your life as regards the relationship, just as they will. In the event that you take your time to find out who your new partner is, you will be in a much better position to make an informed decision about whether or not to take the relationship any further.